


Practice Makes Perfect

by Miko



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-17
Updated: 2006-07-17
Packaged: 2017-10-21 09:41:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/223781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miko/pseuds/Miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cloud never expected to find a friend in Shinra, let alone anything more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Practice Makes Perfect

Sweat poured off Cloud's brow, some of it getting into his eyes and stinging fiercely. He ignored it as best he could, chest heaving as he panted for air. His tunic was fairly soaked with it as well, and small wonder; the sword he held was too heavy for him, and he'd already been practicing for more than half an hour.

"You won't have time to stop and take a breather when you're in battle," he reminded himself fiercely, the words barely intelligible around his gasps for air. Nor would he have a chance to wipe the sweat from his eyes, since that action would probably involve needing enough time to take his helmet off.

Still, it was one thing to keep pushing himself to his limits and beyond when he was actually on a battlefield and his life was in danger, and another thing entirely to do it when he was safely tucked away in a practice room. Of course, the reverse was also true; if he couldn't do it now, in safe and controlled circumstances, would he be able to do it in the midst of chaos and panic?

And so he continued to push himself, slinking off to practice every chance he got. He didn't have a great deal of interest in joining his squadmates' drinking and whoring in their free evening hours, so it wasn't like he was missing much. They all thought he was holing up somewhere to avoid being teased or hazed; he wasn't about to tell any of them the truth, that he was practicing for the SOLDIER exams. He'd never hear the end of the teasing.

Concentrating hard, Cloud swung the too-big sword in an arc and tried to keep his arms from shaking too much with exhaustion. In all honesty, he didn't really have any idea what he was doing. They'd all had a week's worth of basic sword training in boot camp, while the sergeants studied them to decide whether they would be better off in the sword or rifle corps. Not surprisingly, given his slight stature and build, Cloud had been promptly placed in the rifle corps. That was the grand total of his training with a sword, and he was making most of it up as he went along.

Clueless or not, he had to try. If he didn't make SOLDIER, he'd never be able to show his face in Nibelheim again. And it was a damn sure bet that nobody here was going to go out of their way to help him.

Dredging up every memory he had of his drill instructor in boot camp, Cloud growled at himself. "Are you a man, or a mandragora? Discipline and the ability to use a weapon is what sets us aside from the monsters! Get it right, or go back to your momma!"

Sudden laughter from behind him startled Cloud, and he didn't end his next swing quickly enough. It went wide, the heavy blade dragging him off balance, and he stumbled to the side and went down to his hands and knees. The sword clattered to the ground noisily, but not loud enough to drown out the laughter.

"Sorry!" his unknown observer exclaimed, still laughing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." A dark-haired boy, probably only a few years older than Cloud himself, crouched in front of him and offered him a hand up. "It's just, that's the best impression of Sergeant Sofface I've ever heard. I take it old Sour-face is still terrorizing the new recruits? Hasn't he retired _yet_?"

Now that he'd stopped moving, Cloud's body was letting him know in no uncertain terms that it was not happy with him. He was used to that, he always felt like an overcooked noodle after his practice sessions, but he was usually careful to cool down so that he didn't stiffen up too much. Gasping for air, he looked up at the intruder from under his sweat-soaked bangs.

In the two weeks he'd been coming here, this was the first time Cloud had encountered someone else. The practice rooms didn't seem to be used all that often after hours; most of the troopers in Shinra's Security division were far more eager to spend their off-hours forgetting about drills and weapons and grumpy sergeants. The older boy didn't seem to be laughing _at_ him though, not in a way that was making fun of him. There was only genuine amusement in his expression, not derision.

"He'll never retire," Cloud finally gasped out, accepting the offered hand and letting the stranger help him to his feet. "Scuttlebutt says he's been exactly the same since the day Shinra was first incorporated. Supposedly he sucks out the hopes and dreams of the recruits and eats them to keep him young."

"Right, I remember," the other boy laughed again, releasing Cloud's hand once the blond was on his feet. Leaning down, he scooped up the sword, raising an eyebrow when he felt the weight of it. "Kid, I don't know who your sword instructor is, but somebody needs to have a serious talk with him. This sword is way too heavy for you. No wonder you look like you've been put through the wringer."

"I know it's too heavy, that's the point," Cloud snapped, scowling at him and snatching the blade from his hand. "I'm not going to use it in the field; I'm building up my muscles." How embarrassing that the older boy could tell so easily that the sword was too heavy for him. It wasn't like he was using one of the really big swords the SOLDIERs favoured; even a hand-and-a-half sword was more than he could manage to lift, let alone the longswords and broadswords some of them used. He'd _tried_ , but he'd eventually concluded that he would have to work his way up to them.

No, the sword he was using now was just a regular infantry sabre, albeit one intended for someone much bigger and stronger than Cloud was. Well, hell, almost _all_ of the swords were intended for someone bigger and stronger than Cloud was. That was why he'd been assigned to the rifle corps in the first place.

"Ah. My mistake," the stranger said easily. "In that case, you're doing a good job. Don't push yourself too hard, though. Stretching your limits and endurance is one thing, but if you strain muscles you'll just end up worse off than when you started. What's your name, kid?"

Surprised again by the unexpected praise, Cloud eyed the boy warily. "Cloud Strife," he finally admitted.

"Rifle corps, right?" the boy asked, and at Cloud's nod he grinned. "Thought so. Otherwise I really _would_ have needed to report your sword instructor. You're not too bad, but you're making some really basic mistakes."

"Well, excuse me for not being perfect," Cloud growled, white-faced with fury. How dare this asshole just saunter in like he owned the place and start criticizing him? Cloud was doing the best he could with limited resources, and all things considered he thought he'd been doing a pretty good job.

Turning, he would have stalked off, but the stranger caught him by the shoulder. "Whoa, hey, wait a second," the brunet exclaimed. When Cloud looked back over his shoulder, he found the older boy's expression genuinely remorseful. "I didn't mean it like that, honest. It's impressive that you've made it as far as you have on your own, all I was saying was that if you _did_ have a proper instructor, he was either lazy or incompetent for not catching the mistakes you're making. The fact that you're making mistakes isn't a mark against you; if beginners didn't make mistakes, then nobody would need teachers."

Somewhat mollified, Cloud turned back to him again. The brunet had an earnest expression, like a puppy that's hopeful you'll like him enough to give him a treat. It was rather endearing, actually, in a cute kind of way. He was dressed in casual workout clothes, much like Cloud, but Cloud had a sneaking suspicion the boy was an NCO at the very least. He carried himself with a sort of quiet sense of authority, despite the earnestness, and he talked like he had the experience to be passing decisions on things like the competence of Cloud's instructors.

At least, since he was out of uniform, he couldn't get Cloud in trouble for snapping at a superior. Not that he seemed like the type of person to do that, but you never knew with officers, commissioned or otherwise. They had a tendency to be highly sensitive to perceived insubordination.

Catching sight of the sword propped up against the wall next to the door, where the stranger had apparently left it to come help Cloud up, the blond raised an eyebrow at him in turn. "Look who's talking about using a sword too big for him," he retorted, jerking his chin at the longsword. The hilt wasn't quite long enough for it to be a two-handed sword, but the blade looked too heavy for Cloud to lift.

Glancing over his shoulder as if he wasn't quite sure what Cloud was talking about, the brunet paused for a moment before looking back at him with a smile. "Well, I never said you were wrong about the principle of building yourself up using a heavy sword," he replied lightly. "I'm just a little stronger than you are to start with, that's all. I'm Zack, by the way." The smile turned into a grin. "So, do you want some help? I can give you a few pointers, to help you avoid those mistakes. Not that I'm any kind of expert, but I've been fighting with a sword for a couple of years now."

Torn between the desire to leap at the chance to _finally_ get some help, and the fear that Zack would just end up making fun of him like everyone else always seemed to, Cloud hesitated. "I... if you're sure it won't keep you from your own practice," he finally said.

"Nah," Zack immediately demurred. "Teaching someone else is the best thing you can do to cement the principles in your own mind, anyway. And I'm tired of practicing on my own, it's boring. So. Why don't we start with the attack you were working on when I came in?"

On his leave days, Cloud tended to spend the afternoon hanging around the square, watching the sword units drill. That was where he'd learned most of what he knew about sword fighting, and his private practices were his attempt to put what he'd seen into practice. Carefully he assumed the basic attack stance he'd seen one of the units drilling in, and lifted the sword up over his right shoulder to begin the downward slash.

"Stop right there," Zack ordered him unexpectedly, and Cloud froze. His arms trembled with the effort needed to keep the heavy sword up, but he refused to allow it to drop so much as an inch.

"Okay, here's your first problem," Zack told him, moving up behind Cloud and putting his hands on the blond's shoulders. "Your feet are practically in a straight line from back to front. That gives you decent forward and backward motion and stability, but laterally," he nudged at one shoulder, and Cloud nearly fell over before Zack caught and righted him. "Laterally, your stability is shit," the older boy concluded. "Move your feet farther apart, like this," he kicked gently at Cloud's ankle with his own foot, until the younger boy had his feet placed to Zack's satisfaction. "There, feel the difference?"

"Yeah," Cloud agreed tentatively, hoping the blush on his face wasn't obvious from behind. He wasn't used to having people this close to him; he could feel the heat of Zack's body radiating against his back, and it made him flush. Experimentally he leaned from side to side, Zack's hands still steadying him by the shoulders, and nodded. "Yeah, that makes a big difference."

"Good. Next, your grip," Zack said, moving his hands to cover Cloud's on the hilt. "You're choking up too much. I know it feels to you like it's easier to wield that way, but trust me, it's a lot easier to control the sword if your hands are spread out." He tugged at Cloud's right hand, positioned next to his left, and slid it down the hilt as far as it would go, until there was a good inch and a half of space between them.

Neither of them was wearing gloves, and Cloud could feel the older boy's rough skin against his own softer fingers. It was obvious that Zack spent a great deal of time with his sword, judging by the callous on his fingers and palms. "Now try the swing," Zack suggested, stepping back once he was sure Cloud had the right hand and foot position.

Feeling oddly bereft by the sudden loss of warmth at his back, Cloud focused on the motion of his sword so he wouldn't have to think about it. To his surprise he found the sweeping attack was indeed much easier to execute and control now. He was in no danger of losing his balance, and he was able to guide the curving motion with his hands spread like that. "Hey, this is much better!" he exclaimed without thinking about it.

"Told you," Zack replied, laughing softly again. Normally Cloud would have bristled, but once again he didn't get the feeling that the older boy was laughing _at_ him. "Practice that ten or fifteen times, and then we'll move on to the block that counters that attack."

They continued that way for another half an hour, and Cloud made more progress in that amount of time than he had in the entire two weeks previous. He didn't think he would ever get used to the way Zack seemed to think nothing of touching him or guiding him bodily, but it was effective even if it was embarrassing. Feeling flushed with victory at the way he was noticeably improving, Cloud pushed himself harder than he probably should have.

Finally he lifted the sword to try a high parry Zack had just shown him, and his body rebelled. Gasping in shock and pain as the muscles in his right forearm knotted abruptly, Cloud nearly chopped his own foot off by dropping the sword on it. Zack caught the blade out of midair, then set it aside as Cloud pulled his arm in to his stomach and hunched over the cramp instinctively.

"Shit," was the older boy's succinct assessment as he looked at the blond in consternation. "Fuck, Cloud, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you that hard. I figured you'd call a halt when you were getting this tired!"

"Didn't want... to lose the chance to learn more," Cloud got out through gritted teeth. He'd had his muscles cramp up on him from overuse before, but that was usually after he got back to the barracks and it had never been quite this bad.

"Idiot." Despite the insult, Zack's voice was warmly affectionate. "Who said this was the only chance you'd have? Here, let me." Gentle hands tugged at Cloud's arm, pulling it out away from his body and nudging his left hand away so Zack could get at the cramp. "Ow, that feels nasty," the older boy grimaced in sympathy. "Brace yourself, it's going to hurt worse before it gets better."

Because he'd been warned Cloud barely managed to clamp his mouth shut over the shout of pain that wanted to escape him as Zack dug his thumbs into the centre of the cramp, bearing down on it hard. It was agonizing, but it only lasted a few seconds before the spasming muscle gave way under the pressure and relaxed. It still ached fiercely, but it was no longer threatening to tear itself right off the bone.

Reeling, Cloud found himself caught against Zack's strong chest, and the older boy was now massaging his thumbs over his forearm to chase away the lingering ache. "Next time, tell me you want to take a break _before_ you get to the point where you're cramping up!" Zack admonished him sternly.

"Next time?" Cloud gasped, trying to focus on that instead of the feel of Zack's body against his. He was blushing again, harder than ever, but if he was lucky maybe Zack would chalk it up to the embarrassment of succumbing to a cramp like that.

"Yes, next time," Zack said in exasperation, swatting the back of Cloud's head lightly with one hand. "I told you, I'm tired of practicing alone, and it's nice to be able to help someone for a change. You do this pretty often, don't you?"

"Every night I have free," Cloud agreed, relaxing by inches as Zack's clever hands soothed the ache out of his arm. Zack was working his way up to Cloud's bicep, which hadn't yet cramped but was fairly quivering with the threat of it.

"Then I'll meet you here as often as I can," Zack told him firmly. "I'd imagine we're on different duty schedules, so it probably won't be every time, but we ought to be able to manage three or four times a week. My unit's stationed in Midgar for the next couple of months, at least."

"But... you..." Helplessly confused, Cloud looked up at him, and was further baffled by the genuine anticipation he could see in Zack's friendly face. "You'd give up your free time just to help me? Why?"

"Because there aren't many people who would willingly work themselves to exhaustion like this just to improve," Zack said, shaking his head. "You deserve a chance to have some help. And, because I like you," he added with a wink. "You're cute. Walk it off and cool down, before your legs cramp up too."

Blushing even more fiercely at the hated 'cute' description, Cloud pulled away from him and started walking in small circles to help him cool down as instructed.

They parted ways shortly thereafter, Zack picking up his oversized longsword to start his own exercises as Cloud made his way back to his barracks. Once he was out of sight with the door safely shut between them, Cloud lifted his hands to his flushed face and stifled a moan.

He'd been starting to suspect that he might have some interest in other men. He liked girls well enough, his years-long crush on Tifa was evidence of that. But having Zack's hands on him like that was more than enough to confirm his suspicions that he wasn't entirely straight. The older boy was attractive and charismatic, and Cloud could only hope the effect Zack had on him would fade with time and familiarity. Otherwise he was probably going to do something truly embarrassing like get hard while Zack was touching him to guide him in a new exercise, and then he'd probably get his face pounded in.

As it was, Cloud had a sneaking suspicion he knew what - or rather, who - he was going to be dreaming about tonight. Thankful that he didn't talk in his sleep, he headed back towards his unit and prayed to Shiva to help him stay cool in future practice sessions.

In the weeks to come Cloud repeated that prayer so often he started to seriously consider making Shiva his personal deity. Then again, since she wasn't doing all that much to help him, maybe he should be cursing her instead. As he'd suspected would be the case, he never did get used to Zack's casual touches, and the effect they had on him only increased over time. If he hadn't known better, Cloud would have accused Zack of doing it on purpose to tease him, but despite the touchiness the older boy was never anything but professional. Friendly, yes, but nothing beyond that.

Despite that, Cloud found himself looking forward to their training sessions with an eagerness that was nearly as embarrassing as the way he now dreamed about Zack almost every night. It wasn't hard to figure out what was happening; he was developing a crush on the older boy in the worst way. His squadmates were now regularly teasing him about the 'girlfriend' they thought he was sneaking off to meet most nights, trying to pry details out of Cloud no matter how stubbornly he insisted that all he was doing was going to practice.

In his worst moments, Cloud was mortally certain that Zack _knew_ and was gallantly not mentioning the crush to Cloud because he knew it would only embarrass the younger boy. The rest of the time he was terrified that Zack didn't know, and when he figured it out he would be upset, angry, or worse - disgusted.

Because although Cloud's sword work continued to improve in leaps and bounds, that wasn't what he valued most about his time with Zack. It was the honest-to-gods _friendship_ that the older boy offered him that meant the most to Cloud. During breaks in the practices, or sometimes for an entire session if Zack thought Cloud had been pushing himself too hard lately, they would talk and laugh and tease each other in a way that Cloud had never done with anyone else before. Zack was so open it was impossible not to like him, and he seemed to like Cloud just as much in return. It was the first time Cloud had ever had someone he could truly consider a friend, and he revelled in it despite the embarrassment of his inconvenient crush.

Oddly, when things finally did come to a head between them it wasn't Cloud who betrayed himself. They'd been working on a particularly tricky parry and counter-attack manoeuvre, and Zack had finally moved to stand behind Cloud with his arms wrapped over the younger boy's shoulders, hands on Cloud's to guide the boy through the complicated motion. At some point Cloud stepped back when he should have stepped forward, and found himself abruptly pressed against Zack from chest to knee.

All the breath went out of him at the sudden contact, and for a moment they both stood frozen. It wasn't the feel of Zack's strong chest against his back that left Cloud feeling dizzy and breathless, though that probably would have been enough on its own to feed his fantasies for months. What made Cloud stand there like he'd been hit with a Break spell was the way Zack's cock was hard and hot against his upper ass. His own cock twitched at the feel of it, and he shivered.

"Damn it." Zack's curse was soft, but heartfelt. Surprisingly, he made no move to back away, though he did release his grip on Cloud's hands so the younger boy could escape if he wanted to. "Well, I guess you had to find out sooner or later. Are you completely disgusted now? Or are you still willing to be my friend?"

"Me?" Cloud all but squeaked, but he was too stunned to feel embarrassed at the way his voice broke. "Disgusted by _you_? You're joking, right?" All this time he'd been struggling so hard to keep Zack from realizing the way Cloud's body reacted every time the older boy got close... and Zack had been fighting to hide the same thing from him? Cloud had to be dreaming. His luck wasn't this good.

Half-turning in the older boy's arms, he looked up at his friend with wide eyes. Something in Cloud's expression must have told Zack the truth of the situation, because the worried concern in the brunet's eyes melted away and was replaced by something that scorched right through Cloud's body. He'd never seen that look directed at him before, but he knew what it was; desire.

"Oh yeah?" Zack's voice was about as close to a purr as Cloud could imagine a human getting, and the blond had to swallow hard to maintain what little composure he had left. "Maybe this isn't as one-sided as I thought it was."

Cloud had never been kissed before, but there wasn't a doubt in his mind that Zack was incredibly good at it. The older boy coaxed his lips open with a few deft swipes of his tongue, then explored Cloud's mouth with a slow thoroughness that left the blond gasping and clinging to Zack's shoulders for support. Somehow they'd gotten turned around so they were facing each other properly, and now Cloud could feel Zack's erection burning into his hip. He wished he was taller, so they could have been more evenly matched; in that moment he was all but consumed with the desire to feel Zack pressed against _his_ cock instead.

It seemed Zack had a similar wish, because he backed Cloud up one step at a time until the younger boy felt his back hit the wall. At some point they'd dropped their swords, leaving their hands free. When they could go no further Zack hooked his hands under Cloud's thighs and lifted, bringing him higher so they were more closely matched. They both groaned as their cocks rubbed together through their sweats, and Cloud instinctively wrapped his legs around Zack's waist to help hold himself in place.

When Zack finally broke the kiss and turned his head to the side, allowing them to pant for much-needed air, Cloud felt dizzy and overheated. "Gods, I've been dying to do that for _weeks_ ," Zack muttered into the side of Cloud's neck, and the younger boy gave a breathy laugh.

"I wish you'd done it earlier," he said recklessly. He was still torn between believing this was a dream, or feeling like it was too good even to be a dream and so it had to be real. "I... I've wanted this for at least that long," he admitted shyly. "I thought... well, the same thing you did, I guess. That you'd be disgusted."

Zack gave him a brief, fierce kiss, as if to reassure him that disgust was the furthest thing from either of their minds. "You have no idea how hard it has been to keep my hands off you in these sessions," he told Cloud with a husky chuckle.

"Off me?" Cloud repeated incredulously. "Sometimes I thought you were teasing me on purpose, you touched me so often!" His breath hitched and he moaned as Zack rocked into him, rubbing their cocks together again. "Oh, please..."

"Shit, Cloud," Zack fairly growled, nipping at the younger boy's collarbone and making him gasp. "I want to strip you down and run my hands all over you the way I've been dying to..."

"So why don't you?" Cloud offered, made bold by Zack's words and the feel of the older boy against him. This time he was the one who rocked his hips up, and Zack's breath hitched in his throat.

"Two reasons," the older boy replied hoarsely. "I wasn't expecting this, so I don't have any protection. More importantly, I also don't have anything we could use as lube. And I don't think I have the self control to strip you down and _not_ take you."

"Oh. _Oh,_ " Cloud said, cheeks flushed more with desire than embarrassment. He wasn't a total innocent; he'd heard enough nasty teasing and ribald jokes among the men of his company to have gotten a pretty thorough education in the basics of sex. And Zack was right that they needed both, especially lubricant, because even through their clothes he could tell the older boy was big enough to hurt him pretty badly without it.

At the same time, the knowledge that Zack wanted him badly enough not to trust his self-restraint if Cloud was naked made him burn with need and want. If he didn't get some relief from the desire that had been plaguing him for weeks, he thought he might die of frustration. It was ten, fifty, a hundred times worse now that he knew Zack wanted him too.

"We can still do this, can't we?" he half-begged, pressing himself up against Zack again. It wasn't what he really wanted, but it was better than nothing, and he suspected Zack would feel the same.

"Fuck," Zack groaned, biting at his neck and thrusting against him in turn. "Yeah, we can still do this. Better than this, even. Hang onto me, tight."

Feeling Zack lift one hand away from supporting him, Cloud did as he'd been ordered and clung hard to the older boy's shoulders. The last thing he wanted was for Zack to drop him now, in the middle of this.

Fumbling with Cloud's waistband, Zack finally managed to tug it down far enough to draw his hard cock out. The touch of his calloused fingers against Cloud's sensitive skin was enough to make the blond hiss with need. Zack started to stroke him, rocking into his hips in the same rhythm, and Cloud couldn't help squirming in his arms.

It was a little embarrassing to realize that the reason Zack's hand was able to move so easily was because Cloud was already wet with precome, but not so embarrassing that he wished Zack wasn't doing it. "You... you too," Cloud grunted, caught up so far in the pleasure that it was hard to talk. "I want to feel you, too..."

Shuddering, Zack did as he was told and paused in his stroking to shove his own sweats down far enough to free himself. This time he wrapped his hand around them both, and Cloud found himself dizzily grateful that the older boy had such big hands.

"Shit, this is... you feel so good," Zack gasped into his skin, speeding the pace of his stokes. "Fucking embarrassing, Cloud, I'm not gonna last long..."

"Me, neither," Cloud assured him, pushing his hips up into each stroke. He was sure if he could have seen himself at that moment he would have been mortified by how shameless he was being, but he couldn't help himself. Nor did he even really care, lost as he was in the feel of Zack's hand and cock against him.

It was Cloud who came first, perhaps due to the fact that he was the younger and considerably less experienced of the two of them, but it was a fairly close thing. When he came down from the dizzying heights of pleasure Cloud found he was still pressed tightly between Zack's body and the wall, the older boy's hand wrapped loosely around them both and covered with their semen.

Perhaps he should have been embarrassed, but all he could feel was content. "Mmm, I needed that so bad," he murmured, tipping his head back against the wall. He shivered when Zack chuckled, face still buried in Cloud's throat so that it tickled.

"You and me both, kid," Zack told him, his voice husky. "Next time I'll be a little better prepared." Cloud's shiver turned into a shudder at that, and he gasped as the thrill of anticipation made his cock twitch in Zack's hand despite how depleted he already was. The older boy laughed again, clearly delighted at the reaction.

"What about the practicing?" Cloud asked as Zack released him and let him slide slowly down until his feet were touching the ground again. Not that Cloud would have objected to replacing their sword lessons with this instead, but he had honestly been enjoying the practices for their own sake as well. Not to mention how fast he'd been improving with Zack's help.

"We'll still practice," Zack promised him. "Just, maybe not every time. Or you can stay longer, and I'll do my own practicing in the mornings instead." Wiping his hand off on the inside of his t-shirt, Zack then tugged both their pants up until they looked more or less presentable.

Probably 'less', Cloud reflected ruefully as he ran a shaking hand through his hair and felt that the spikes were wildly in disarray. He was seriously going to catch it from the guys in his platoon tonight. They'd never believe he hadn't gone off base to meet his girlfriend.

"Sounds good," Cloud agreed, his eyes shining. Swallowing, he added, "I, um, I'd probably better go." Or else he was going to be seriously tempted to jump Zack again, considering the way the older boy looked dishevelled and tempting.

"Yeah, probably," Zack nodded, and the gleam in his eyes told Cloud he was thinking much the same thing. "I'll see you tomorrow? Or do you have duty?"

"I'll be here," Cloud promised him fervently. Ifrit's flame couldn't keep him away, he reflected. He couldn't remember ever being this happy in his life - and it was only going to get better.

The next day, of course, seemed to drag on forever. Guard duty was even more boring than usual, even though Cloud got to walk rounds on his floor instead of just standing motionless by a door. Every time he glanced at his watch it felt like time was moving more slowly, until he finally forced himself to stop looking for fear that if he checked again it would have _stopped_ , and he'd never get to the evening.

He kept wondering what Zack was doing, whether the older boy was going through his duties in the same sort of tense state of expectation as Cloud. He never had found out just what Zack's rank and unit was; when he'd brought up the question in the beginning the older boy had always been evasive and changed the subject, and Cloud had finally stopped asking. He'd finally concluded that Zack must not have wanted his rank - which Cloud was now _certain_ must be higher than his - to come between them.

Finally, _finally_ they were dismissed for the day. Technically Cloud still had dinner to get through, since he and Zack had always met after that, but today he decided to skip going to the mess and just head straight to 'their' room. He was far too nervous and excited to eat anything, and he'd do better working off some of his nervous energy with some sword drills. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that tonight would be one of the times they did _not_ bother with a sword lesson first.

If he was really lucky, Zack might have had the same thought, and he'd meet the older boy there early.

"You're in a hurry tonight," one of his squadmates observed, laughing as Cloud shed his uniform as quickly as possible and pulled civvies on. Jeans and a decent shirt, this time, instead of his usual sweats and a t-shirt, but he felt eager to look good tonight. Maybe just to prove to Zack that there was more to him than the way he looked when he was sweaty and dressed in grungy workout clothes.

"I'm meeting someone," he replied. Let them think he was finally admitting to the girlfriend they all accused him of hiding. Tonight, he really didn't care. The stupid grin he was sure was on his face would have given him away even if he'd tried to lie - at this point, the best he could realistically hope for was to keep them all believing it was a girl.

He had to go with them most of the way to the mess before he would get to the corridor that branched off towards the practice rooms, so Cloud resigned himself to the teasing and ribbing. At least it was good-natured; that was something Zack had taught him, that people could tease you and mean it in a _friendly_ way.

"Hey look, SOLDIERs!" one of the others exclaimed, and there was general shoving among the group as most of them tried to look. They were in one of the outside corridors, taking a short-cut towards the general use buildings from the barracks, and the group of SOLDIERs was below them in the square. Cloud pushed towards the railing as well; SOLDIERs weren't so rare in Midgar that it was astonishing to see them, but they weren't so common that it wasn't still exciting, either. Probably like most of the younger men in the platoon, he liked to imagine himself among them when he saw them. Soon, he promised himself. With Zack's help, he would have no trouble passing the physical exam, he was sure of it.

One of the SOLDIERs caught sight of the group of them gawking, and nudged his neighbour; shortly all of them were looking up and laughing at the eager privates, posing and strutting and generally showing off. They were all in their twenties, mostly 3rd Class with a scattering of 2nd, and clearly didn't mind being on display for the admiration of the troops.

Cloud blushed and would have withdrawn, embarrassed to be caught staring like a country cousin, when his gaze was snagged by the sight of messy dark spikes and laughing blue-violet eyes. His heart stopped in his chest, or at least it certainly felt like it, as he stared down at Zack's familiar face.

For a moment he was certain that he had to be mistaken. It was someone else with dark hair and similar features, it _had_ to be. There was no way Zack could be a SOLDIER, just no way.

Then, when he almost had himself convinced, Zack's eyes met his and he saw the look of surprised recognition cross the older boy's face. "Cloud!" he exclaimed, not audible from this distance, but Cloud knew his own name when he saw it on someone's lips.

It was Zack, there could be no mistake. Worse, he was one of the 2nd Class, not a 3rd. Red-faced, Cloud shoved away from the railing until he couldn't see Zack any more. Ignoring the concerned questions of his squadmates, he turned and fled back down the hall, humiliated.

How could he have been such an _idiot_? Gods, Zack must have been laughing at him the whole time, wondering how long it would take Cloud to figure it out. It wasn't as if there hadn't been plenty of clues: the longsword the older boy used to practice; Cloud's certainty that he had to be an officer of some kind despite his young age; the casual strength with which he'd lifted Cloud against him; even, now that Cloud was thinking about it, the way his eyes seemed to sometimes reflect the light from within like a cat's. Cloud had assumed that was just his imagination or a trick of the light, but he'd heard other people talk about the strangeness of SOLDIERs' eyes. He'd just never seen it before for himself.

Cloud had never felt more like an ignorant little child in his life. He couldn't stop second-guessing himself, wondering what _else_ he'd missed. Or assumed, for that matter. He'd considered Zack a friend, the first and only friend he'd ever had, but what could someone like him have to offer a SOLDIER? That Zack wanted him physically he couldn't doubt after last night, but how could he possibly keep fooling himself that it could be anything more than simple lust?

Then, as the initial rush of humiliation passed, Cloud started to get angry instead. What the hell had Zack been playing at? Cloud had even _asked_ him his rank, and the older boy had dodged the subject. Had he thought it was funny, watching the poor little private talking to a SOLDIER like they were equals, never having a clue who he was _really_ talking to?

Worst of all, what if it had been some kind of bet or dare from the other SOLDIERs? Cloud had seen enough of that sort of thing among his toonmates to know how it went. "Prove you can actually seduce someone _without_ dazzling them with the fact that you're a SOLDIER", that sort of thing. That was entirely too plausible as a reason why a 2nd Class would bother giving the time of day to a lowly private.

Reaching the barracks, he threw himself down on his bed and curled into a miserable little ball. There was no way in hell he was going to the practice room tonight. Or tomorrow. Or ever again. Zack could find some other gullible dupe to laugh at, or play a prank on, or sate his lust with, or whatever the hell the older boy had been doing with Cloud.

Firmly telling himself that the wetness on his cheeks was sweat, _not_ tears, Cloud kicked his boots off and buried himself under the blankets, determined not to come out again until morning.

In the next two weeks his squadmates learned to step carefully around him, as he was prone to exploding into a temper at very little provocation. Over the course of his friendship with Zack, Cloud had opened up to the rest of his squad and learned to laugh and joke around with them as well. Now he'd reverted to the sullen, snappish teenager he'd been when he'd first signed on, and none of them knew quite how to handle him. Mercifully they restrained any well-meant jokes about a break-up with his girlfriend, perhaps sensing that there was a great deal more to it than that.

Frustratingly, Cloud couldn't even take out his temper in his sword practice. He'd tried switching to mornings and finding another place to practice, but every time he so much as looked at a sword he was reminded of the whole mess with Zack. He knew he would have to force himself to continue eventually, but with the wound still so raw he decided to stick to his rifle for a while.

Every so often Cloud caught himself wondering if Zack ever went to their room, or what the older boy was doing with his time now that he wasn't spending so much of it with Cloud. He squashed those thoughts firmly the moment he realized he was thinking them, but they kept returning.

Even so, the last thing he ever expected was to return from his duties one day to find a sheet of folded paper with his name on it sitting neatly on his pillow. Cloud didn't recognize the handwriting, but somehow he just _knew_ it was Zack's. There was a careless quality to the writing, though it wasn't exactly messy. Besides, he knew the writing of all his squadmates and his CO, and who else would leave him a note?

For a moment he was seriously tempted to tear the thing up without ever reading it. But if he did Cloud knew he would spend the rest of his life wondering what it said, so in the end he sighed and picked it up.

Perched on the edge of his cot, he glanced around quickly to make sure there was nobody near enough to read over his shoulder, and opened the note. It was short and to the point, and he could almost hear Zack's voice reading the words.

 _I'm being shipped out tomorrow. I just want to talk to you. Please?  
-Zack_

Cloud stared at it for a long time, trying to make up his mind, and also trying to ignore the way his hands were shaking slightly. He was only beginning to take the first steps in getting over his crush on Zack, and the heartbreak it had involved. If he saw the older boy now he just knew he was going to be thrown right back into it again, as fresh as if it had been yesterday that he'd seen Zack in the square.

On the other hand, the same logic applied to the meeting as had applied to the note. If he didn't go, he'd spend the rest of his life wondering.

At last he stuffed the note into his pocket and stood, heading out still dressed in his uniform. There didn't seem to be any point in changing into civvies of any kind.

Of course by the time he actually arrived at the practice room Cloud had nearly changed his mind half a dozen times. He wanted nothing so much as to flee back to his bed and hide in it until morning, and not have to face Zack's derision or laughter or whatever at Cloud's stupidity. Why did the older boy even want to see him? What difference would it make at this point?

There was no way to find out except by going inside and asking, though. Resigned, Cloud pushed open the door and stepped inside cautiously.

Zack was there, sitting against the far wall with one leg drawn up to his chest and his arms around it, head leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed. He opened them as he heard the door open and Cloud's heavy footsteps, looking up with an expression of mixed worry and hope. "You came," he said, and he sounded grateful and relieved. "I wasn't sure you would."

That left Cloud feeling very confused. Relief and worry, hope and gratitude were not what he'd been expecting. Zack was out of uniform again, he noticed; in jeans and a shirt this time, much like what Cloud had been wearing the night he'd seen the older boy in the square. Surely he couldn't be hoping to continue to convince Cloud that he wasn't a SOLDIER? The penalty for impersonating a SOLDIER was severe, and he couldn't imagine Zack being stupid enough to dare it. No, Zack was definitely a SOLDIER, there was no question in Cloud's mind.

"I came," he agreed cautiously. Zack had scrambled to his feet, and now they stood at opposite ends of the room staring at each other, as if Zack was no more certain of what to say than Cloud was.

"Why?" Cloud finally burst out, breaking the stalemate. "Why didn't you just _tell_ me, damn it? You had plenty of chances, I even asked you! Instead you let me make an idiot of myself!"

Wincing, Zack looked down at the ground. "A lot of reasons," he said softly. "It's complicated. Mostly because... I..."

"Because what? Because you were getting too much of a kick out of watching the stupid private making a fool of himself?" Cloud asked bitterly, hating himself for sounding nearly as heartbroken as he actually was.

"What?" Looking first astonished, then dismayed, Zack shook his head. "No! Hell no! Hades, Cloud, was that what you thought? That I was laughing at you? That's not it at all!" Startled by the vehement - and apparently sincere - denial, Cloud started to wonder if he might have been wrong.

Digging a hand into his hair, his body language radiating embarrassment and apology, Zack looked at him sheepishly. "It's just that... you have no idea how tiring it gets, having everyone look at you as a SOLDIER. It's like nothing else about you exists, or matters. You're a SOLDIER, so anyone who's not a SOLDIER treats you like you're so far above them that you couldn't possibly have anything in common with them. When they're not afraid of you, that is. We're only human. We get scared, and lonely, and we make mistakes. Big mistakes, in this case."

He was giving Cloud that earnest look again, the one he had the first day that had made Cloud compare him to a puppy. "I wanted a _friend_ ," the older boy finished softly. "I'm the youngest SOLDIER Shinra's got right now, and a lot of the others resent me. Maybe if I was 3rd Class it wouldn't be so bad, but I got a field promotion to 2nd just before the war ended. And everyone says chances are good I'll make 1st before the end of next year. That hasn't made me any friends among the SOLDIERs, and the non-SOLDIERs are all either scared of me or full of hero-worship." He shrugged and hung his head. "When I realized you didn't recognize me for what I was, it seemed like a gods-sent opportunity."

Studying him, Cloud tried to judge his sincerity, at the same time weighing the strange concept of a SOLDIER lonely enough to seek out the friendship of a nobody like Cloud. Yet what he'd said was true; hadn't Cloud's first thought on learning Zack was a SOLDIER been to immediately believe there couldn't possibly be anything he could offer a SOLDIER? He'd instantly put the older boy on a pedestal. Was still thinking of him that way, in fact. And Cloud had more than enough experience with the negative side of humanity to know how easily someone like Zack might be resented by those older and not as gifted.

"So now what?" Cloud asked, his voice hoarse with all the pain he'd felt over the last two weeks. Cautiously Zack looked up at him.

"Now, you decide if you can forgive me, and if you still want to be my friend," the older boy told him. "Or... more than that, but the friendship is the most important part. I've missed you, these last couple of weeks."

Leaning back against the door, Cloud closed his eyes and tried to work through the tangle of conflicting emotions he was feeling.

Could he forgive Zack for making him feel like such an idiot? For lying to him, misleading him and generally misrepresenting himself? He wasn't sure. Granted, a lot of the humiliation and hurt he'd felt was as a result of his own apparently incorrect conclusions, but he'd never have come to those conclusions if Zack had just been upfront in the first place. Cloud had been hurt by a lot of people before Zack, but this was the first time he'd been hurt by someone he considered a friend. That made even a small betrayal feel a million times worse.

Did he still want to be Zack's friend? Yes. Zack couldn't possibly have missed him half as much as Cloud had missed Zack; that was half of what had hurt so much, that he'd been so angry at Zack and _still_ just desperately wanted things to go back to the way they had been before. If keeping Zack's friendship was contingent on him forgiving the older boy, then suddenly Cloud found it wasn't so difficult to forgive him after all.

Did he still want more than just friendship? ... _Gods_ , yes! No matter how angry and hurt he'd been, Cloud still hadn't been able to stop dreaming about Zack, about the way the older boy had felt against him that last night they'd been together.

Swallowing hard, Cloud took a deep breath and opened his eyes. "I forgive you," he said gruffly. "Just don't be stupid and lie to me about anything again!" Silently Zack shook his head, looking like he was trying to hold back his hope for fear that Cloud would still turn him down. "And... and I still want to be friends. And m-more, if you'll still have me."

"Still have _you_?" Zack looked so relieved it would have made Cloud laugh if the circumstances had been different. "You're joking, right?" Striding across the room, he caught Cloud in a loose hug, leaning down to seal their mouths together. Cloud pressed up into him, opening his mouth immediately to try to coax Zack into deepening the kiss. It didn't take much coaxing; Zack groaned and kissed him more deeply, tightening his grip on Cloud's waist as he did.

Now that he knew the truth, Cloud could feel the carefully leashed strength in his friend's arms, and when they pulled back for air the dull shine in Zack's eyes seemed obvious. There was something about knowing that a SOLDIER wanted _him_ that made Cloud feel just the least bit smug.

Smug, and breathless, and overheated, and needy. Zack had him up against the door now, kissing him briefly but repeatedly, murmuring words of apology and thanks between each one. Cloud finally hushed him by kissing him properly and twining his arms around Zack's neck to hold the older boy there, and they teased each other breathless.

Once again Cloud could feel Zack's cock pressed against his hip; not fully hard this time, not yet, but getting there. Cloud wanted more, wanted to feel it against his skin again, wanted to feel it _inside_ him. His dreams had usually stopped short of that point, since he had no idea what to really expect, but he knew that with Zack it would be good beyond anything he'd imagined.

"Are we going to have to stop again?" he demanded when they finally broke apart once more. Zack gave him a puzzled look for a moment, then grinned and shook his head, chuckling.

"No. I've, uh... sort of been carrying them on me since the last time we were here, just in case," the older boy admitted somewhat sheepishly. "Wishful thinking, I guess. Does that mean...?"

"I said yes, didn't I?" Cloud cut him off, flushing. Unhooking one hand from around Zack's neck, he reached down between them and fumbled with the older boy's waistband. He wanted to touch and be touched, to wipe away the last two weeks as if they'd never been. "Do it, Zack. Please?"

"Since you asked so nicely," Zack said, and groaned at the feel of Cloud's hand against him. He lifted Cloud, once again proving how easily he could do so, and Cloud clung to him the way he had before. Instead of pressing him into the wall this time, though, Zack turned and carried him to one side of the room, where equipment for sparring was stored. Cloud realized the older boy's intention when he saw the springy mats that were used for tumbling practice, and he was a little grateful. The cold concrete floor of the practice room wouldn't have been the best place to lose his virginity, though he'd have accepted it happily if it was all they'd had available.

Kneeling on the mat, Zack laid Cloud down on his back, pressing him into the cushioned surface as he leaned in for another deep kiss. Cloud went back to working on the older boy's jeans now that his hands were free again, and Zack groaned but didn't protest. Instead he started expertly undoing the buckles of Cloud's uniform, working the armour loose so he could get at the skin beneath Cloud's tunic.

There was nothing soft or gentle as they fought to be skin to skin as quickly as possible. Maybe if they'd met as planned that fateful night they would have had the patience to take their time about it, but two weeks of anxiety and longing combined with the knowledge that they wouldn't have another chance at this for far too long made them both too needy to be slow.

Cloud got his hand on Zack first, pulling the zipper of the jeans down and working his hand under the boxers beneath. Zack was hot and hard against his hand, and though it felt strange to be touching another man's cock it also felt good. The older boy moaned helplessly as Cloud stroked him, his motions at first tentative and then slowly gaining confidence.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you," Zack murmured into his throat, finally getting the blond's belt undone so he could slip his hand inside the pants. Cloud arched his hips up into the contact, pressing his hard cock more firmly against Zack's warm hand, and the older boy chuckled. "Never been so glad that 2nd Class get a room to themselves."

"Lucky bastard," Cloud muttered, making Zack laugh again. "Please, Zack, I want to feel you against me!"

"You'll have to let go of me for that." Zack pointed out, and Cloud reluctantly obeyed. Sitting back on his heels, the older boy started stripping out of his clothes, and Cloud wriggled free of the armour and harness Zack had loosened for him. Now he regretted having not bothered to change before coming here, because there were far too many layers involved.

He emerged to find Zack now sitting gloriously naked in front of him. All the breath went out of Cloud's body, and his hands paused in the middle of reaching for his pants as he stared helplessly. Zack was _beautiful_ , all tanned skin and thin scars and heavy muscles. As often as Cloud had imagined the older boy nude, reality was far better than anything he could have come up with.

"You're flattering me," Zack said warmly, his eyes heated as he watched Cloud watch him. Finally he leaned forward and moved to finish what Cloud had been in the middle of, stripping the uniform off the younger boy. Belatedly Cloud started helping him, now even more anxious to be skin to skin at last.

The moment the uniform was off him and safely out of the way, Zack leaned into him and pressed him into the mat, kissing him deeply. Cloud whimpered into the older boy's mouth at the feel of his strong body, in particular the way his cock rubbed against Cloud's. It felt much more intense now than it had two weeks ago, whether because of the additional body contact or just the tension of the time since then.

Zack's hand slid over Cloud's hip, heading not for his cock but lower between his legs. The motion felt oddly slick, and Cloud whimpered again as he realized what was coming. Spreading his legs, he tried to brace himself for the intrusion.

"No, no, don't tense up," Zack whispered soothingly against his lips. "Relax, Cloud, I won't hurt you. I'll make you feel so good you'll think you've died and gone to the Lifestream. Let me in."

Doing his best to relax as instructed, Cloud nevertheless tensed again as he felt Zack's fingers probing at his ass. Still murmuring reassurances, Zack pressed inside him and Cloud fought not to squirm at the odd sensation. Odd, but not unpleasant, and he slowly started to relax as he realized it wasn't so bad.

"Yeah, that's it," Zack encouraged him. He twisted his hand, making Cloud squirm again, then pressed against something that made the blond gasp and buck beneath him. Seeing stars, Cloud clung to the older boy and panted for breath, awash in pleasure. Whatever that was, it felt far better than anything had a right to. Zack chuckled again and worked his finger in and out of Cloud's body, hitting that spot with every thrust.

Lost in the sensations, Cloud hardly felt it when Zack added another finger, save for the feeling of being stretched. He did feel the third one, but by then he was too far gone to care about the burning pain it caused.

"Zack, oh gods, Zack," he babbled, rocking his hips up into each motion of Zack's fingers. He was squirming and writhing, desperate for friction on his cock but afraid to touch himself for fear of falling over the edge. He wanted Zack inside him first - but he wasn't going to last much longer.

"Fuck, Cloud," Zack's voice was hoarse, and the fire in his eyes when Cloud looked up at him was more scorching than a Fire3 spell. "You ought to come with a warning label. I can't wait any longer."

"Then don't," Cloud told him, stroking shaking hands over Zack's shoulders and back, surprised to realize the older boy was trembling too. "Don't wait, please, I want you... ah!" He cried out as Zack withdrew briefly, bereft at the loss of warmth and feeling horribly empty without the older boy's fingers inside him.

Before he could really start to protest Zack was back, bracing his hands on either side of Cloud's head and kneeling between the younger boy's legs. Cloud could feel something hot and hard pressing against his entrance, much bigger than Zack's fingers had been, and he held his breath as Zack pushed forward.

It did hurt, but not all that much. Mostly it felt odd, too full and tight, alien. Cloud tilted his hips experimentally, and was pleased when the shift wrung a strangled noise out of Zack. The older boy had his eyes tightly closed, obviously struggling for control and fighting to keep things slow.

By the time he was buried all the way inside Cloud, the blond had started to adjust to the intrusion. His body relaxed, making it feel even better, and he squirmed again to explore the way it felt.

"Stop that!" Zack ordered him - or maybe begged him, it was hard to tell. Pressing him harder into the mat, Zack tried to stop him from moving around.

Cloud was having none of it. "But it feels good," he protested, squirming again and gasping as the motion made Zack's cock brush briefly over _that_ spot. He tried to do it again, and was startled when Zack suddenly growled and pulled out an inch or so, before slamming back in.

The strength of the thrust shifted Cloud back on the mat, even though it hadn't been deep. He wrapped his legs around Zack's waist to help hold himself in place, and groaned as the change in angle made the older boy press even deeper into him.

"Fine, you want to move?" Zack gritted out, the muscles in his arms and chest straining with the effort he was putting into holding back. "We'll move. Hang on to me." As if Cloud wasn't already wrapped around him like a limpet.

Then Zack pulled back and started thrusting in earnest, and Cloud understood the admonition to hang on. It was all he could do to cling to the older boy and remember to breathe through the streaks of pleasure shooting through his body with each thrust. Even when Zack didn't hit the spot that made him see stars it still felt good, which surprised Cloud a little. Not that he was complaining.

Inside, in the small part of his brain that was still coherent through the pleasure, Cloud was cursing himself for being stupid and missing out on _two weeks_ of this. And now Zack was being shipped out, and it would be weeks or months before they could do it again. Well, they'd just have to make up for lost time once the older boy got back.

Shifting his weight to one arm, Zack worked his free hand down between them and wrapped it around Cloud's weeping cock. Hissing at the sudden intense sensation, Cloud writhed beneath him. "Zack!" he choked out as he felt everything in his body tense, his awareness shrinking to nothing more than the feel of Zack's cock in him and Zack's hand around him. That was all the warning he managed to get out before the tension abruptly released, leaving him shuddering and jerking against Zack's still moving body as he came all over the older boy's hand.

Now over sensitive, Cloud whimpered softly at each thrust, shivering with aftershocks that were almost _too_ pleasurable. It didn't take long, maybe another minute or two, before Zack's rhythm faltered and his motions became irregular. Finally the older boy groaned deep in his throat and went still, panting for air as he knelt over Cloud.

After another moment he sort of collapsed, slinging his weight to one side so he didn't crush Cloud but rather ended up with them tangled together on their sides. "You okay?" he asked, the glow in his eyes brighter than ever.

Breathless, Cloud nodded, unable to find the words to describe the way he felt right now. 'Okay' didn't even _begin_ to cover it. "We... we can do that again sometime, right?" he croaked once his voice was working again.

Laughing softly, Zack ran the hand he'd been using to support himself through Cloud's spiky hair. "Yeah, definitely," he agreed. "As often as we can. When we're alone, though, I want you to treat me the way you always have. Like a friend, not a SOLDIER. Promise me?"

"I promise I'll try," Cloud assured him softly. "I can't promise it won't affect the way I think of you at all, but... I'll do my best."

"Then we'll just have to make sure you get lots of practice at it," Zack said, smiling at him and kissing him briefly. "And then keep practicing after you get it right, to make sure you don't lose the knack. It'll be a hardship, but we'll manage somehow." He laughed again as Cloud snatched up the nearest piece of clothing and smacked him in the head with it in exasperated affection.


End file.
